It was a beautiful day out on the water.
Well, that’s what the announcer guy always says, at least, so I’m
sticking with his story. Our
three “heroes” (technically, two heroes and a heroin…unless someone’s not
telling us something…), although no one knows why they’re considered heroes, we
sitting on top of the giant blue-cross-between-a-llama-and-a-turtle thing,
trying to figure out where they want to go *this* time.
Meanwhile, the viewers are spending their time trying to figure out how
these people even know where they’re going, when all they can see is water,
they don’t have a compass, and…well…that’s basically it .
As
usual, the red-headed-hypocrite and the black-haired-pokemon-master-wannabe are
arguing about something…kami knows what. The
black-haired-legally-blind-guy was too busy looking around for some more girls
to harass to notice or even care, while no one could even understand
Satan’s-little-yellow-pet-rat™ (trademark nickname for *it*,by moi) , because
all Mr. …er…Ms. ….er….(?!?) Ego knows how to say is its own name as it attempts
to calm the two down. As usual,
the violent little thing decides to try a murder attempt to get the
arguing-future-love-birds to shut up, and electrocutes them with its
devil-given powers. Suspiciously,
everybody survives as the hypocrite and wannabe continue their arguing.
Sighing in defeat, the rat decides to give it up for now, and sits back
as it tries to come up with another way to kill them all so it and its allies
(namely Sadaam and Hitler) can take over the world.
As
the argument peruses, the blind dude finally remembers he’s not even supposed
to be there anymore, as he spots one of those female Police officers who stole
*my* nickname driving by on a Jet Ski, and jumps into the water to swim after
her. No one ever hears from him
ever again. A little while later,
this gay person who actually likes to draw pokemon… ::shudders:: …and has a
could-be-a-girl’s-OR-a-boy’s name comes and joins the group.
(A/N-
don’t bother flaming me for the *gay* comment, this is one of those rare times
I’m not actually insulting the person… let me put it this way: I have my
theories, and you have yours….)
The
two (who conveeeeeniently started getting along as soon as the blind dude swam
away) welcome him into the little group, neither seeming too sad over the fact
they just replaced one of their long-time friends (and, may I add, source of
all their meals) with a stranger. And
now, with all that taking place, they *finally* remember that this story needs
a plotline and head towards the nearest island—“Island of the Purple Pokemon”
After
all, if those things can be pink, they can be purple, right?
Of
course, as soon as they get there, our “he-”…(tell you what; for the sake of argument,
let’s just call them “main characters” My
head hurts too much to give-in to controversy right now) main characters find
themselves ankle-deep in yet another mystery.
No one ever stops to think how convenient it is that they ALWAYS seem to
find SOME mystery, problem, crisis, whatever.
Or why all these people choose to put their trust into a group of kids,
two of which are carrying a chirping egg and Satan’s spy…I mean…pet rat.
As always, many dangers are involved with helping these people out for
our main characters, but they always pitch in to help, as if their probations…I
mean…lives depended upon it.
Now,
just as the trio suddenly find themselves right in the middle of something
“important”, who should pop up [unexpectedly and unnecessarily], but the
Brain-Dead-Gang: the bitchy-bossy-red-head, the blue-haired-cross-dresser, and
the feline-human-impersonator. And
no matter what…they could be right in the middle of a heard of buffalo
stampede, and wouldn’t care…they just HAVE to repeat their stupid ‘motto’ over
and over and over…it doesn’t matter that nobody’s really even paying attention
to them anymore, or the fact that the viewer’s probably falling asleep right in
the middle of it, the motto MUST be said.
Their
plan this time is very simple; dig a hole.
I mean, it can’t get more simple than that, now can it?
And they’ve done it so many times already, maybe this time they’ll
actually remember that it’s their ENEMY who’s supposed to end up in the hole,
and not them! So somehow,
the three manage to buy an unnecessary hole-drilling machine (even though
they’re supposed to be so broke they can’t even eat!
Well, no wonder why!) just to dig a freakin’ six-foot-deep hole in the
ground. And guess what?
They actually accomplished their mission this time, because the wannabe
was too busy staring at the latest pokemon… ::shudders::… it managed to
brainwash into going with him, the gay dude was too busy trying to draw it, and
the hypocrite was too busy staring at the wannabe to notice the wide-open hole
left in front of them. And…BOOM!
They all fall down.
Let’s
see…oh, yes; how do out main characters’ get away from the Brain-Dead-Gang this
time? Well, you see, the
pink-singing-Kirby-impersonator decides to pop up (the little stalker…how the hell
does that bubble-with-ears FIND them each time?!?) and sing.
How stupid. How pointless.
How…egotistical! How…just
perfect for this show. And so,
putting everybody to sleep faster than the three-hour-long motto, the
Kirby-impersonator gets mad because it still hasn’t figured out what it’s own
magical powers are (putting everybody to sleep with it’s damn lullaby), the
thing temporarily blows up like a pissed-off-blow-fish, then suddenly, the
microphone it carries around (?!?) transforms into a marker, and the
Kirby-impersonator now becomes the Jackson-Pollock-impersonator as it doodles
away on everybody’s now-sleeping face.
And
while they’re asleep, the Brain-Dead-Gang somehow activates a 200-year-old land
mine place their so conveeeeeeeniently by yet another plothole, and blows it
up, sending them all flying. As
they’re possibly falling to their deaths, they can’t forget to finish their
motto with a bad pun about blowing up, or something like that.
As they disappear from sight, yet another star in the sky blows up right
where the trio vanished…not with a bang, but with a “ping.”
As
our main characters do their best to forget about their latest encounter with
the Brain-Dead-Gang (we, the viewers, have already forgotten), they climb out
of the hole, only to find…oh, no…::gasp::…the little yellow rat hit it’s head
on a rock! Oh, no…what to do?
Ahh, we know…take it to one of those clinics being watched over by yet
another one of those nurse-clones. With
a few minutes, the rat is back to normal, defying most laws of science in our
world, but hey, so does everything else in the show.
Along
the way back, the trio end up running into a few dozen trainers who decide they
want to battle with the wannabe. And
of course, he has to accept. Let’s
see…here’s a little list of who he ends up battling:
an Eskimo…a
gardener…another-mother-looking-for-her-son-who-decides-to-stop-just-to-have-a-pokemon-battle…somebody
(be it mother, father, sister, or brother) who left home just to fulfill
his/her dream of becoming a pokemon whatever…Santa Claus…and the last
challenge is a young girl about the same age as the wannabe and hypocrite.
Of course, she easily gets along with the wannabe, making the hypocrite
fume with jealousy (as much as she tries to hide it…we ALL know the truth…).
As usual, everybody but the wannabe himself seems to notice what’s going
on…maybe even the gay guy, who knows? And
the girl decides to give her a hard time, teasing her about it.
The next day, she ends up missing, and the hypocrite just walks away,
whistling innocently. No
one catches on but us, and we don’t really care because that girl just may have
interfered with yet another AAMR fic, anyways (oh, the horror!).
Oh
yeah…we had some type of mystery going on, didn’t we?
Can’t forget that, now. Well,
as they solve the mystery of why some of the pokemon of that island weren’t
purple (::gasp!::), our main characters find themselves hanging off of a cliff
because they were chased off by an angry pokemon they disturbed while solving
the mystery (yes, the pokemon was purple…I didn’t forget that!).
Just when they are about to fall to their deaths, the chirping-egg
decides to giggle, chirp, wave it’s arms (which start to glow), and
‘mysteriously’ save the day by teleporting everybody back to the clinic, where
the nurse-clone was waiting for them. To
this day, they still can’t figure out that they were saved by an egg…or maybe
they did, and are too embarrassed to admit it, who knows?
Anyhow,
that ends yet another day in the life of our main characters.
They will come across many more adventures together, meet up with the
Brain-Dead-Gang more times than even we can count, have the Kirby-impersonator
find them again and again, putting them all to sleep in the process, attempt to
teach another three-year-old an important lesson on life, calm the hypocrite
down when jealously sneaks up at every age-appropriate female who comes in
contact with them (riiiight…she followed him around because of the bike…oh,
sure, whatever you say…), and manage to save the world from a nuclear
meltdown. All the meanwhile, our
main characters are so busy entertaining the audience, no one bothers to pay
attention to the rat, who was probably the cause of that nuclear meltdown, as
he continues on every episode with his never-ending quest to take over the
world…starting with the franchise monopoly….
THE
END
(I
wish…)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEANWHILE:
Me:
(being restrained by my two muses while trying to push the Red Button) nooo!
I must do it! I must!
Chibi-Chibi:
You can’t! Think of all the flames
you’d receive if you did!
Chibi-Quatre:
You promised no killing, and therefore, will do no killing!
Me:
But…the rat must die! DIE,
RAT, DIE!!!! (finally gives up) oh, fine…you win.
Chibi-Chibi:
there, now…put your final message in your fic, post it up, and then we can all
get out of this category…
Me:
(sighs in defeat) fine….
__________________________________________________________
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~J.C.~